Who Decides What You Deserve?

I saw something on social media this past week that made me laugh, and then it made me think. There’s a Photoshop request group whose posts pop up in my feed all the time, and many of the requests are pretty amusing, especially once you dive into the comments. (That’s usually where the gold is.) The other day, a woman posted a picture of herself and asked someone to Photoshop her into the tax bracket she deserved. I loved her request, and some of the edits people came up with were hilarious.

But what I found most interesting was how many people in the comments questioned what made her think she deserved a higher tax bracket. Some of them were downright nasty. When she posted again to address the negative comments, wouldn’t you know it? Even more people got fired up.

That’s when I got curious. Why was everyone so triggered by the word deserve? Why does someone else’s belief that they deserve something amazing create such a strong reaction in other people?

Somewhere along the way, many of us picked up beliefs about what people deserve. Maybe we believe success has to be earned through hard work and sacrifice. Maybe we believe people should be grateful for what they have rather than wanting more. Maybe we believe there’s only so much success, wealth, happiness, or opportunity to go around. And without even realizing it, we start measuring what other people deserve against those beliefs.

But here’s what I keep coming back to…What if there’s enough good to go around? What if someone else’s success doesn’t take anything away from our own? What if, instead of thinking Who does she think she is?… we thought I hope she gets everything she’s dreaming of?

Now, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not suggesting we’re entitled to everything we want simply because we want it. Hard work, effort, and personal responsibility matter. But I don’t believe we have to prove our worthiness to dream of something better. And I certainly don’t believe someone else’s dreams need to threaten our own.

Here’s where it gets really interesting.

The beliefs we hold about what other people deserve are often the very same beliefs that limit what we allow ourselves to want.

How often have you talked yourself out of something because you didn’t think you deserved it? Maybe you told yourself you weren’t qualified enough or hadn’t worked hard enough. Maybe you decided you should just be grateful for what you already have. Or maybe you caught yourself thinking, Who am I to want that?

Sound familiar?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the stories we tell ourselves matter. They shape what we believe is possible, what we’re willing to pursue, and how we respond to other people’s success. Sometimes those stories are so deeply ingrained that we don’t recognize them as stories at all. We just accept them as truth.

But what if we challenged them? What if we could be grateful for what we have and still want more? What if we offered ourselves the same generosity and encouragement we’d give someone we love?

I don’t know what tax bracket that woman will end up in. But I hope it’s the one she’s dreaming of, and I hope the same for you. We don’t need more people telling us why we can’t, why we shouldn’t, or why we don’t deserve something. We need more people cheering each other on.

This Week’s Thought Drop

Someone else’s abundance is not evidence of your lack.

The next time you hear someone dreaming big, notice your reaction. Do you immediately start questioning whether they deserve it, or can you simply celebrate the possibility? Then turn that question inward: What amazing things have you convinced yourself you don’t deserve?

Maybe it’s time to question that story, too.

Because the life you want won’t happen by accident.

Live your life by design, not by default.

Until Next Thursday,

Liz