What My Dog Taught Me About Confidence

My dog learned to swim this summer. That might not sound particularly remarkable, dogs are supposed to know how to swim, right? Apparently, no one told Fitz, my golden doodle.

I adopted him a few years ago, and this was our third summer together. I have a pool, and every summer I’ve tried to convince him that being in it with me could actually be fun. I’ve tried getting in with him. I bought him a pool float so he could hang out with me without actually having to swim. I’ve tried treats, I’ve tried the ball (which he is fanatic about), I’ve tried coaxing him in. Nothing really worked. He wanted to be near the pool. He wanted to be outside with me. He just didn’t want to be in the pool.

Then something changed this summer. A friend of mine spent a lot of time at my house and started working with Fitz. He noticed how motivated Fitz was by a ball and started using it to get him into the water. Now here’s the thing, I’d tried the ball before. The difference wasn’t some brilliant new strategy. The difference was that my friend just kept at it. Again. And again. And again.

He’d toss the ball into the pool and help Fitz go after it. Sometimes he’d have to coax him, sometimes he’d practically drag him in. He even brought his own dog over so Fitz could watch another dog happily jump in, swim after the ball, and climb back out. And slowly, something started to change. Fitz got a little more comfortable. Then a little more willing. Then a little more confident.

At first, getting into the water was awkward. He was hesitant, unsure… you could almost see him thinking, I don’t know about this. But he kept doing it. And every time he went into the water and realized he was okay, he collected another little piece of evidence: I can do this. Eventually, he didn’t need as much coaxing. Then he didn’t need any. Fast-forward to now, and this dog LOVES to swim. He chases the ball into the pool, swims around like he owns the place. You’d never know this was the same dog I couldn’t convince to get in the water for two summers straight.

And it got me thinking about how often we get confidence backward. We tell ourselves: I’ll do it when I feel more confident. I’ll speak up when I’m more comfortable. I’ll put myself out there when I feel ready. But what if confidence isn’t what gets us into the pool? What if getting into the pool… again and again… is what creates the confidence?

Because sometimes you try something once and it still feels terrible. You try it again, and it’s still awkward. You try it a third time, and you’re still not sure you’re cut out for it. And that’s often where we stop. We assume the discomfort means we’re not ready, or we’re not good at it, or maybe it’s just not for us. But maybe it simply means we haven’t done it enough yet.

Confidence isn’t always created by one big courageous moment. More often, it’s built through repetition. You do the uncomfortable thing, then you do it again, and again. Each time, you collect a little more evidence: I survived that. I handled it. I’m getting better at this. Maybe I can do a little more. And eventually, what once felt awkward starts to feel familiar. What felt scary starts to feel manageable. And sometimes, the thing you once avoided becomes something you actually enjoy.

So here’s your Thought Drop for this week: don’t mistake “this still feels awkward” for “I can’t do this.” Maybe you don’t need a different strategy. Maybe you don’t need to wait until you’re more confident. Maybe you just need another rep. Get in the proverbial pool. Then get in again. And again. Because confidence isn’t always what allows you to begin. Sometimes it’s what you earn by continuing.

P.S. If this one landed, I put together a free guide called The Confidence Reset — it walks through how to spot the confidence you already have and use it as a bridge into the areas where you don’t feel it yet (networking, in my case). Subscribe below to access it!